


There if You Need, Here as I Should Be

by speckledhound



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Coping, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Baggage, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Sleepy Kieren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 16:52:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2075688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speckledhound/pseuds/speckledhound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Months after having established their relationship, Simon begins spending most of his time in Kieren's presence, although his family is still on ease in regards to past events. The Walkers come home from dinner to a pleasant scene (the world undeniably needs more sleepy Kieren in it), and Simon continues to learn about Kieren and counts himself even luckier than he had originally thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There if You Need, Here as I Should Be

 

“Steve?”

The clatter of utensils and the far-off reverberating of his wife’s voice swam somewhere just out of his grasp. Moments like this would occur whether he were home or out, when he saw Jem tremble and look away hurriedly; what fear had consumed her, he would never know. It would happen if he was not careful and was overcome with horror upon seeing the ghostly pale tint of his son’s skin, and he would remember the time that he found him, or how they had shut up their house during the Rising, his biggest fear not his own safety, but that he would see someone that was not his son occupying his body. The memories played over and over, a broken record, although his family had finally come to know some peace.

Steve Walker was out with his wife, per her request. They had walked down to a small fish and chips establishment on the edge of town, bringing Jem along (somewhat reluctantly, and yet, she appeared to be more understanding as of late). He knew their outing was an attempt to give Kieren some time alone with Simon, who had begun to hang around their home more frequently, choosing the warm tidiness and awkward family conversations over the dark corners of Amy’s bungalow.

“Steve,” his wife repeated, this time more clearly.

He kept his eyes low and shrugged, as if to give a sign for them to forget it and progress with conversation.

“You saw her eyes didn’t you?” Sue’s entire face was filled with sadness, but the understanding was still there. “The waitress. She’s a PDS sufferer.”

Jem looked to both of her parents with a sinking feeling deep in her stomach. No matter how hard she tried to move along in her life, to better the person she had become, there were always reminders present, and no one ever hesitated in bringing up past scars regardless of what they might trigger.

“Yeah…no, its fine…I didn’t…Its just…something you never quite get used to, is it…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have thought…” He straightened all of this utensils in an uncomfortable silence.

“You just never get used to it, you know?” He said again, swallowing quickly as if to hold back something more. “And I know…I know Simon saved Kier’s life and he’s made him happy since- all that’s happened. But sometimes I feel…”

“Steve,” Sue said, cutting him off and giving him a sad smile. “He’s happy.”

Her husband nodded. “I know, Sue. It’s hard though, right. Realizing things’ll never be the same.”

X

Night had settled in long before they finished eating by the time the Walker family made their way back home. Kieren’s mother opened the door gingerly, so as not to impede on any sleeping that might have been going on. As soon as they entered, Jem disappeared upstairs to her room before anyone had time to turn on a light.

Mrs. Walker reached the kitchen and turned the light on to a dim setting, calling out her son’s name in a soft voice.

“Kieren?” With no response to meet her, she walked around and said his name a second time, barely hearing the muffled snore of annoyance that her voice was met with.

But she said nothing else upon seeing him, pulling her husband aside after he had turned on the sitting room light without knowing it had occupants.

As the two of them moved a bit closer, they saw Kieren dressed in pajamas, curled against Simon on an armchair with one arm around his shoulder, the other using his hand to hold onto his sweater. A noticeable wet spot had formed where Kieren’s mouth had come to touch Simon’s clothing, his mouth emitting barely audible snores that could be easily likened to a weak attempt at clearing his throat.

“See, love, they’re fine,” Sue whispered, patting Steve on the back and giving it a rub for extra reassurance.

“Yeah.” He smiled and they made moves to walk away until they noticed that Simon was partially awake, blinking his eyes blearily and making tired grunting sounds to get their attention.

“Oh, Simon- we didn’t- didn’t mean to wake you, we were just coming in-“

“S’fine,” he let out in a weak voice, rubbing his eyes with his free arm. “We sort of…fell asleep, sorry about that, uh…” He looked to Kieren’s sleeping frame and smiled at the closeness, and at the innocence captured by his face, which he no longer chose to cover up to any degree.

“Well if you’re up, then, would- if its uncomfortable there, you, uh, look much too rigid to get a good night’s sleep. Why don’t you see if you can pick up your friend there, go sleep upstairs in Kieren’s room?”

Simon chuckled and gave a nod in agreement.

“Let’s see what we can do here, huh.”

Picking Kieren up proved easier than he’d thought, since once of his arms was already wrapped around Simon’s neck, and he mumbled as he was shifted and did the same with his other one.

“No, Simon,” he whined, never opening his eyes, but tightening his hold around his neck and trying to move in a way that would be more comfortable as Simon finished standing up, arms firmly around Kieren as if he were holding a child.

“You good, there?” Kieren’s mother laughed, making a move to grab onto Steve’s hand as if to pull him away like they had intruded on a terribly private moment.

“Fine, yeah, I’m…I’m gonna do what you suggested. Uh…goodnight.” Simon smiled awkwardly at the two of them from behind the mess of gold hair that was nestled into his shoulder.

Once he had carried their barely-conscious boy out of sight, Sue experienced with her husband over a sweet smile the silent agreement that although things may never in fact be as they once were, they were in reality improving Kieren’s happiness, which maintained its status of being of the first and foremost priority.

X

“Come on, now, gonna set you down. S’alright.”

Simon had pulled back Kieren’s bedding with difficulty and gently placed him on the bed, despite his reluctance and sleepy desire to remain wrapped in his arms.

“Mmm. Hi.” He pulled the covers up to his chin and reached out to touch Simon, who came to meet the touch and sat on the edge of the bed with an adoring smile, running a knuckle against Kieren’s cheek lovingly.

“Hi,” Simon greeted, unable to stop himself from breaking out into a fit of laughter, which made Kieren grin and waken considerably more.

“What’s so…funny.” Kieren raised his arms above his head and stretched his whole body, messing up what tidiness he had executed in making his bed earlier.

“Hey. You should go to sleep.”

“Mmmf, you should go to sleep,” Kieren mumbled, tossing a small pillow at Simon and delving under the covers to hide himself from retaliation.

Simon chuckled again and gave the hidden lump a nudge, and then walked to the other side of the room to change from his regular clothes into the pajamas he’d recovered from the bungalow and moved into the Walker household, as he seemed to stay night after night, much to Kieren’s own pleasure. Simon could tell he cherished having someone to share a bed with and keep the nightmares away as much as possible, as he would often delay his morning routine in order to spend as much time as he could in Simon’s arms being kissed in the new day’s sunlight creeping in the windows. Sometimes it got difficult, because they had no choice but to wait until all of Kieren’s family members had left the house in order to have sex, although Simon could tell Kieren enjoyed the both of them having to resort to trying to be as quiet as possible some nights so that no one would hear them.

He looked to the bed now to see if the lump had moved at all, only to see a head peeking out at him, watching him change in the dark as he pulled a soft black cotton shirt over his body.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He made his way to the bed quickly and half-wrestled Kieren under him.

Kieren only smiled, holding Simon’s gaze before quickly giving him a kiss on the nose, leading to much play-struggle and a fight to be on top in the mess that began, Kieren giggling and pushing him away as he fought to kiss him roughly on the mouth.

“Hey, stop, stop it, come on,” he said finally, his eyes glinting in the moonlight without his contact lenses in. Simon nodded and moved himself to Kieren’s side, sliding under the sheets and pulling him over into his arms with an exaggerated groan. He froze for a moment at the sound of Jem moving about in the next room over; he’d gotten paranoid that she had begun to mistake the smallest thump for intimacy between the two of them.

“Alright, now, Kieren, close your eyes and get some rest, okay?” Simon buried the majority of his lower face in the tuft of golden hair nestled against his body, gently placing a kiss despite the disgruntled noises Kieren was making, a behavior Simon had come to associate with a lack of sleep and the grumpiness that came with it.

“Go to sleep,” Simon repeated, drawing out the vowels in an exhausted Irish drawl.

Their closeness always seemed to warm each other despite their inability to feel, but the comfort they provided was something utterly invaluable that they had never known before meeting.

“Simon.” Kieren’s voice came softly like the smallest kindling fire from out of the dark into Simon’s mind.

“Hm.”

Kieren nudged himself up and propped his elbow on the bed so that he was but a few inches from Simon’s face, and watched his eyes search him up and down.

“I wanted to say thanks.”

Simon went through a moment of processing and stammering before he replied with a confused-sounding, “You’re….welcome.”                                                  

“I’m serious. Be serious, for me, for a minute, please.”

“…I am…serious?”

“Alright, well…I wanted to say thanks. Because my parents, my family, they…I know they’ll always look at me with that, that sadness, that resentment for what’s happened. They’d like the old me back more than anything.”

Simon drifted off briefly realizing that he would not, in fact, wish his old self upon how far he had come to be with Kieren in this moment. An addict who did not care for seeing the light of the world’s next day was not anyone he would want for him.

“…and you, well…you’ve made that unreachable goal less of a priority, you know? I feel like we’ve never outright established this, what with all the…snogging and whatnot.”

He could see Simon smile at him in the dark, and was taken into a drawn-out kiss before he knew it. Hands came up to pull him down until he sprawled on top of the body that shared his bed so very frequently these days. Kieren couldn’t help but break away from Simon’s mouth and laugh.

“I just said- Simon, you couldn’t listen to save your life, could you.”

A hand ran through his hair and then caressed his face gently, running over the cold dead skin as if he didn’t believe its owner was real- a concept which, in truth, he contemplated every time that he saw him.

“Oh, I listen,” he said in a voice just above a whisper, pulling Kieren back into an embrace that was followed with a few minutes of lazy kisses and then silence, Kieren dozing off without meaning to, laying his head down on Simon’s chest.

Where he would be if he hadn’t met Kieren in the graveyard, gone on to work with him in the Give Back Scheme, and be pleasantly surprised by him marching in and kissing him fiercely, Simon wasn’t quite sure. And if he had left, with or without him, that peace Kieren could feel only with his family and his added presence would be disrupted.

There if he needed him, he would always be desired and protected, to save the person Kieren Walker was to become, and to save Simon Monroe for something greater.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This show has meant more to me than I had ever imagined it could, and seeing the recent explosion in people recommending it and creating fanworks has been incredibly inspiring. I hope to do all I can in contribution, and I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading this.


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